I don’t have much experience with online dating, but the two times I did agree to go out with someone weren’t particularly magical. One young man only wanted to talk about himself, and the other mi ha tirato il pacco – which is the Italian way of saying that he stood me up! I’m certainly glad those years are behind me!
tirare il pacco
to stand someone up
Tirare il pacco literally translates as “to throw the package” but it’s used when a person fails to show up at an appointment or date, or bails on someone at the last minute. It can be used for romantic encounters, meetings, or outings with friends. Here is a full list of possible translations:
- to stand someone up
- to bail on someone
- to flake on someone
- to ditch someone
- to leave someone hanging
- to blow someone off
- to be a no-show
When the object is included, you need to use the following indirect object pronouns:
- Mi hai tirato il pacco. = You stood me up.
- Ti ho tirato il pacco. = I stood you up.
- Gli ho tirato il pacco. = I stood him up.
- Le ho tirato il pacco. = I stood her up.
- Ci ha tirato il pacco. = He stood us up.
- Vi ho tirato il pacco. = I stood you all up.
- Gli ho tirato il pacco. = I stood them up.
Non mi sento bene ma sono venuto lo stesso… non volevo tirarti il pacco, sai.
I’m not feeling well, but I came anyway… I didn’t want to stand you up, you know.
Sometimes the article il (the) is swapped out for un (a / an), but only when an adjective is involved for emphatic purposes, as in the following example:
Elena mi ha tirato un pacco assurdo ieri sera e stamattina ha avuto il coraggio di chiamarmi!
Elena totally stood me up last night and he had the nerve to call me this morning!
And sometimes the article may be dropped completely, resulting in tirare pacco, or you might see tirare replaced by dare, meaning to give. Both of these options are very common in the north of Italy.
Another possibility is the simple verb paccare, often used around Rome:
Hai incontrato Giovanna ieri sera? – No, mi ha paccato!
Did you meet up with Giovanna last night? – No, she stood me up!
Two other alternatives are tirare un bidone (“to throw a bin”) and dare buca (“to give hole”).
Heather Broster is a graduate with honours in linguistics from the University of Western Ontario. She is an aspiring polyglot, proficient in English and Italian, as well as Japanese, Welsh, and French to varying degrees of fluency. Originally from Toronto, Heather has resided in various countries, notably Italy for a period of six years. Her primary focus lies in the fields of language acquisition, education, and bilingual instruction.
